Deviant Glee
by Mertiya
Summary: Ral does what he does best, which is irritate people. Like the Rakdos. Jace does what he does best, which is bail Ral out of his own mistakes. (Warning: questionable consent, in that both parties involved would probably prefer to not be doing what they are doing where they are doing it. Also Rakdos-style BDSM. Please read with care.) Sequel to Blast of Genius.


**A/N: **Certain amounts of questionable consent and Rakdos-y style BDSM, in addition to Very Dark Humor. Please read with care.

The loud, raucous noise of the Rough Crowd hit Jace's ears painfully, and he irritably adjusted the few scant clothes he was wearing. It was worse than some of the outfits Liliana had concoted, but he felt it was safer to wear both outfit and illusion than just one or the other. Living Guildpact he might be, but he strongly suspected that wouldn't stop Exava from "accidentally" carving out his intestines if she caught him there. Besides, he didn't want to act as the Guildpact unless he absolutely had to. Instead, he stayed hidden and as low profile as one could when one was pretending to be a carousing Rakdos reveler. If he was lucky, he wouldn't have to do anything this evening other than drink marginal amounts of disgusting alcohol and push Rakdos thugs around. Then again, Jace thought resignedly, he was never lucky.

The meeting was supposed to take place at nine, but it was ten-thirty before Exava entered with the Izzet delegation in tow. The group the Firemind had sent to diplomatize with her was comprised of three goblins, a vedalken, and Ral Zarek. Jace wondered for a moment whether the dragon was going senile before he groaned internally with the realization. Niv-Mizzet didn't _want_ this mission to succeed. An uneasy peace with the Rakdos would only lead to fewer test subjects for the Izzet, and this way the dragon could claim that he had made the attempt. Jace could only hope that Ral was a more skilled diplomat than either the Firemind or the Guildpact gave him credit for. At the very least, he did seem to be entering into the spirit of things, quaffing alcohol and laughing with Exava, though his expression suggested he was enjoying himself a little too much. Jace suspected that if he could hear the conversation, it would be a constant flow of snide remarks that Ral assumed would go over Exava's head, but watching the widening, predatory smirk on the blood witch's face, Jace wasn't so sanguine. After another few minutes, Exava stood up and raised her hands theatrically.

"Ladies and gentlemen and other creatures of the demon's faith!" she announced. "Tonight we've got some pretty special entertainment!"

Cue loud laughter and cheers from the crowd. "See, Niv-Mizzet sent a delegation to do some talking with us, and his delegate is pretty cute, so I thought about listening."

There was a "but" coming, Jace was sure of it. Ral's face hadn't deviated from his usual casual smirk, but Jace didn't know if that meant he wasn't worried or if he was just good at not showing it.

The smile on Exava's face turned dark as she bared her teeth in a grin and strode behind Ral, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Do you know who this is?" she asked, her tone almost jocular. Sudden hush. The crowd waited expectantly. "This is Ral Zarek, Izzet guildmage, lightning caller, and also coincidentally—" pause for effect, last few words delivered in a hiss, "—the Living Guildpact's lover."

The responding wave of shouting disguised the obscenity that fell from Jace's mouth. How did she know? How could anyone know? _Who else knew?_ Ral half-rose, but on Exava's signal, two burly ogres grabbed him and forced him back into his chair. Exava strutted around to the front, bent over and kissed him sloppily. Jace began to push his way forward through the crowd. He didn't exactly know what he could do, but he hoped that getting closer would improve his chances of actually being able to do whatever it might be. When Exava pulled back, blood trickled from Ral's mouth, and then lightning burst in a crackling circle from around him. Exava was thrown backwards, and the two ogres collapsed slowly and stupidly, corpses still smoking.

The blood witch, looking hardly more than mildly inconvenienced, raised her head. "GET THEM!" she shouted, and the club erupted into chaos and violence. Jace took one look at the proceedings and decided his best bet was to get to Ral's side unnoticed. He slipped between brawling Rakdos, trying to reach the source of the erratic bursts of lightning. At least, he thought to himself, it was never hard to find Ral.

The rest of the Izzet delegation succeeded in taking out a large chunk of the club and its crowd—but also themselves—when one of the goblins set off a mizzium bomb. Jace sighed and shook his head, slinking closer to Ral and gingerly avoiding stepping on a smoking goblin corpse.

The brawl was over as suddenly as it had started. Ral, surrounded by a heap of electrocuted bodies, had been overrun and wound round with chains, his mana exhausted. He was bleeding from numerous small cuts and bites and had a dazed look on his face beneath a swelling knot on his forehead.

"Good show," cackled the blood witch. "Very nice intro there, lightning-boy. But how are you going to keep us entertained?" She drew a knife from her belt, and Jace's heart leapt into his throat. Before he could come up with a coherent plan, Exava grabbed Ral by the throat and sliced his shirt and trousers down the front.

The Izzet mage tried to struggle, but couldn't do much against the chains holding him down. He managed a weak grin. "I'll be sending you a bill for that. Those were expensive."

Exava laughed harshly. "You've got balls, Zarek. So…" She ran a long nail down his chest and legs, then patted his bare thigh. "Let's get this party started!"

She signaled to two more revelers who hastened forward and dragged Ral's legs apart before slathering his entire body with something that looked like animal fat, paying special attention to his upper thighs and—Jace swore again, under his breath. Not good.

Ral was swearing, too, breathless and struggling. Exava patted him lightly on the side. "We have any volunteers?" she asked.

_Oh, Krokt_. Jace didn't think; he just scrambled over the rest of the crowd and tumbled onto the stage.

"Oh good, someone who's eager," said Exava's easy voice. "Let's see what kind of a performance you can give." Somehow, Jace pulled himself to his feet and, with all eyes on him, performed what he hoped was a swagger over to Ral and began eying him up and down as he tried to think of a plan.

_It's me_, he thought hurriedly to Ral as he bent over him.

Ral irritably rolled his eyes. _Of course it is. I'm really just surprised it took you this long. Well, what are you waiting for? Go on and fuck me._

_Are you—all right with that?_ Jace asked, buying time by yanking Ral's head to the side and drawing his teeth across the other's throat, which was enough to draw at least a small cheer from the crowd.

_No_, Ral's voice in his head was positively dripping with sarcasm. _I'd rather be raped and murdered by Rakdos than have you stick your cock up my ass. Now fuck me—you do remember where the hole is, I trust?_

_Oh, shut up,_ Jace thought angrily. He thrust against Ral's leg with trepidation, and felt both relieved and slightly guilty that the friction of his tight leather pants was enough to arouse him. _This is your fault_, he added as he tugged at Ral's hair and mouthed along his jaw. Ral's sides were slick with sweat and grease. _I was going to have a nice, quiet evening with no—_

_What the hell are you doing?_ broke in Zarek's voice. _Are you going to gently caress me to death? These are the _Rakdos_, Guildpact. Put on a show!_

_What? How?_

_Krockt, you're blander than an unseasoned blini-cake. Hurt me, you idiot!_

Jace fumbled with his trousers with one hand and slapped Ral across the face with the other, fairly hard, since he'd been wanting to do that for a while. Ral's head snapped to the side, and he gave a theatrical moan, enough to garner some cheers and catcalls.

_Is that the best you've got?_ demanded Ral.

_What do you suggest, if you're such an expert?_

_Do I really have to instruct you on how to rape me properly?_ There was a brief pause and a mental sigh. _Don't answer that. All right, Beleren—first off, act like you're actually interested, will you?_

_I _am_ interested_, snapped Jace. _I'm just not an exhibitionist. Or a rapist._

_Use your imagination. Look, grab my dick—_Jace complied. _Now yank it to the side._

He hesitated. _Won't that hurt you?_

_For the love of—Yes. Yes, that would hurt me. That's the point, you twat. That is, in fact, the point of most things with the Rakdos. Yank. To the side._

Jace did so, and Ral howled in what he suspected was rather exaggerated pain.

_Now twist._ Jace complied and was rewarded with another howl and another twinge of guilt. _ Good. Now get inside me, and hurry up._ Jace finished kicking off his trousers and lined up. _Do it fast,_ Ral said urgently. _Don't want them to think you aren't enjoying yourself._

Jace barely restrained himself from shutting his eyes as he thrust into Ral and sucked in a gasp of shock as the heat closed abruptly in around him. He felt Ral gasp beneath him. _Faster_, the Izzet mage snapped. Jace complied, fairly sure he wasn't going to be climaxing anytime soon after he glanced up and caught Exava's avid gaze. The blood witch was licking her lips and breathing heavily, one hand on her dagger, the other somewhere between her thighs. He must have broadcast the image, because Ral said, _Not bad. Better up the show though. Some of them are pretty close. Grab a dagger and back them off._ Jace managed to snatch what he thought was a small knife off one of the leering crowd and slashed wildly with it, catching a few of the closer onlookers. They stumbled backwards amid laughter and cheers. _Great, now stab me._

Stab_ you?_

_What do you think this is, a Selesnyan convocation? Stab me and hurry up. I'd appreciate it if you missed any vital organs, though._

_If I could, I'd happily puncture your ego,_ Jace said grimly, raising his arm and aiming as best he could. The blow cut deeply into Ral's side, and the planeswalker cried out—in real pain, this time. Jace felt the echo of it wash through him, determined not to inflict it without doing so. He thought he heard Exava give a strangled moan from somewhere in the crowd. Desperately trying to ignore both blood and blood witch, he kept moving.

_My ego _is _a vital organ,_ Ral shot back, a little more subdued now. Then, as Jace clutched at his back, he added: _You remember those things called nails, Beleren? Use them._

Jace managed to scrape his nails down Ral's side and back, though they slipped and slid in the bloody grease. He couldn't stop the sharp moan that dropped from his lips as he clutched at Ral's hips hard enough to bruise and drove himself into Ral's slick heat again and again. Ral's face was pale from loss of blood, but his blue eyes were bright and clear, still grimly entertained. _Get me off, Guildpact, they'll like that_. Jace let go of the knife, his rhythm becoming erratic; he reached for Ral's shaft and tugged, encouraging him along with a few quick mental tweaks as well. Ral's face contorted in something that didn't look entirely pleasurable, but he climaxed almost immediately, groaning and shuddering beneath Jace's hand.

The excitement of the revelers around them rose to fever pitch. Jace, his mental walls starting to crumble, was suddenly awash with a miasma of lust and fury, and he gasped and moaned, almost mindlessly continuing to thrust into Ral and reaching up to give the handle of the dagger a twist.

_Better_, Ral's voice echoed, breathy with pain even in his mind, and Ral spasmed and moaned, in pain more than anything else.

"Finish it!" commanded Exava's eager voice, sloppy with desire. Jace grabbed the hilt of the dagger and dragged it out of Ral's side, raised it high and began to bring it down.

_Play dead_, he shot to Ral as he risked the first piece of the illusion work he'd done all evening. The dagger flickered briefly out of existence but appeared to embed itself deeply in Ral's chest, and the Izzet mage went stiff and coughed blood and Jace pulled his arm up and felt the weight of the dagger return to his hand. Ral went limp underneath him, sending a shudder of horror through Jace even though he knew it was an act.

He heard Exava shout in exultation, and her fiery orgasm crashed over him. Jace was helpless to stop himself from following, though the cry he gave as he thrust one last time was closer to one of pain than of pleasure.

He pulled out quickly, yanking on his trousers, keeping an uneasy eye on the flow of blood out of Ral's side. "Let me keep the corpse," he said brashly. "I don't have anyone else at home right now." Amid the raucous laughter that followed, Exava waved a gleeful hand in acquiescence.

_Take a bow_, muttered Ral's weak voice in his head, and Jace bewilderedly did so, to a number of cheers, some applause, and a large number of pointed objects hurled in his general direction, though probably not with the actual intention of hitting him.

"Great show, honey," Exava commented, as he removed the chains and slung Ral over his shoulders, preparing to head for the exit. "You're a natural."

_That's actually me she's complimenting_, Ral said smugly, but his voice was worryingly weak to Jace's mind.

He was also heavy. Jace staggered slightly as he headed out the door, but at least no one tried to stop him, and he sent an illusion of himself and Ral off in one direction just for safety's sake before shrouding them in invisibility and hurrying toward his office.

Ral groaned theatrically as Jace laid him down on the pallet, and Jace couldn't quite ignore the sudden twinge that ran through him, at the image of Ral's white face going slack and limp before him. He shivered and went for the first aid kit Lavinia had thoughtfully left for him. "Make sure to put pressure on the wounds," he said, returning with bandages. "Here." Ral's face was still pale with loss of blood as Jace began to strip off his top. "And don't do something that stupid again," Jace warned before he could stop himself.

Ral grinned and raised an amused eyebrow. "Is that _concern_ I hear in your voice, Guildpact?" he drawled.

Jace scowled at him. "I'm just _concerned_ that you're bleeding all over my sheets," he shot back.

"Of course you are," Ral grinned. "I was impressed at how terrible you were this evening."

Jace sputtered. "Forgive me for not wanting to rape y—someone."

Ral sighed, wincing as he wound the bandages around himself. "Help me with this," he instructed, and Jace complied, seating the bandages onto Ral's side as best he could, trying not to look too closely at the mess he'd made of the other mage's flesh. Ral sighed. "It's not about the sex, Beleren, it's about the _show_. Honestly, anyone would think your idea of torturing someone was tickling them."

Jace thought about a particular evening with Liliana and flushed. Ral burst out laughing. "You really haven't experimented at all, have you?" he smirked. "Tell me, Guildpact, before I came into your life, had you ever even thought of shoving a lightning rod up—"

"Sh-shut up!" Jace protested, tightening the bandages a little more than he might have done otherwise.

Ral hissed in pain. "Well, at least you finally hurt me without needing instructions."

Jace looked around for something to throw at his head.


End file.
